Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Signs of Crunch Time

Vision narrowing.... [priorities: work, call wife, sleep, eat, in decreasing order]

Project Manager irritability rising.... ["What the hell, guys, are you two talking before making your pages?"]

Oakenfold on repeat... ["We're live at Gatecrasher at Lockerton Hall.... nice one brother.... I SAID NICE ONE!"]

Stimulant use skyrocketing... ["Here's your key - you're the last platinum member to check in tonight." - "Thank you, and can you please send a pot of coffee to my room."]

Wife unhappiness increasing... ["This is the 2nd valentine's day you've missed because of work. Where's my present?"]

Conference Room Smells interacting... ["Should we just leave this pizza in here for the morning?"]

Client timeline shortening... ["Let's shoot for a Wednesday draft"]

Partner involvement growing... ["I haven't seen a deck in a while. Can you please send the most recent version over?"]

Countdown metric unit shrinking... ["96 hours until we're done."]

Cursing off the chart... ["fuck." "shit." "dammit." "damn, why doesn't that add up?"]

Car rental abuse appearing... ["Hmmmm, it redlines at 7000 RPMs. I wonder if it has a governer?"]

All positive precursor signs of hyper-productivity. [Yes, all these are 100% true.]


Anonymous said...

Spot on, Ninja!
Reads just like a déjà-vu of my last crunch time on a project, minus the wife, plus irritated friends ("wtf, do you know that it is 1am?" - "but you said to call you when I get to the hotel, didn't you?"). Isn't it lovely!

Consultant Insider said...

This seems very familiar ....

How about - Zoological Knowledge increasing ... "Dude - is that the same cockroach we saw in the team room last night?" "Well, if you hadn't left the food out ..."

Tuesday, February 17, 2009