Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mealy-mouthed consultant speak

Sent in by a reader...

"My visit started with meeting the President of XXX. We had a fascinating dialogue about XXX's strategies for global expansion - in both the YYY and ZZZ sectors - and the balance between current imperatives and longer term globalisation trends. We honed in on the importance of being "authentically local" as a critical success factor, which has played out in a win in India and the challenges they have in deciding where to place their geographic bets. They have a similar need to reinforce long term relationship development versus campaigns or transactions, which is analogous to our own drive toward client centricity. We also discussed the importance of the expansion of their services business as a counter to lower sales as well as the very active management of their pipeline given the volatility of their customer base. XXX is an account where we have taken a steady approach over the past couple of years to develop C-suite relationships and it is clear we have an interesting platform for the future." - Internal Communique of a major consultancy
What the hell does all this mean?

2 comments:

Hammerspace said...

Of course, this means nothing. It is perhaps too convenient of an observation, but after reading your previous post about Twitter, I realized that the quoted text would actually be much-improved as a tweet. Depending on what XXX and YYY replace, the author would've hit the 140 character limit at about the same point the serious BS starts.

Vipul said...

GG,

This means that the consultant wants to show that he can speak to C-Level peeps though he could not understand what was spoken in the meeting.

But they should get business from you as they know the jargons

Tuesday, May 19, 2009